You're so nebulous sometimes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dear god my vagina.
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