i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
