And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize