True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
