well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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