It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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