they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
