Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
