This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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