Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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