omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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