Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize