Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
