Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
