you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
