i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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