You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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