yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
