I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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