in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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