Moan for me like Helen Keller
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
