Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
