Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
