I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
only if we run a train.
done.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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