is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize