i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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