She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
