I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
