I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize