I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
