He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
