His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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