adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
its liver damage thursday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
