i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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