Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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