They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
