he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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