I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This is my gift to your gina
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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