We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
