his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
