Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
