How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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