just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
