Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my poor anus
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
