Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
