Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well you can't waste a boner
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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