It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A bitchslap is in order.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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