I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
