Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
