So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
