a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
