Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
