Already got asked if we're dating
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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