singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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