it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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