My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
