i just wanna soil my oats bro
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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